What The Tombstone Read

I am my own worst enemy
It is I who loves my company.
I'd like to say that I am loved
By more than my true God above.
I can can however not say this,
I've no heart but a dark abyss.
I pray I find a person who,
Can fill me wholly and is true.
This may have happened in my past,
And I turned them away too fast.

If that is so, then I shall die,

With lonely tears left to cry.

The end is near I feel it call.

It engulfs me and makes me small.

Do not fear in peace I shall rest,

Start and end, one beat of your chest.  

I'm in a poem writing mood so prepare yourself for more to come and by all means let me know what you think :)

Talking About Love

Remembrance Day is on it's way in the UK and it got me thinking about love, so I've picked a few of my favourite quotes about it. Red the colour of love and blood but which of these will do most good?

And I was sick with heartache
And she was sick like Audrey Hepburn when I met her
But we would both surrender
True love is not the kind of thing you should turn down
Don't ever turn it down

January Wedding

Avett Brothers

There's a jukebox in my ear

Playing so loud I can hardly hear

It's tellin' a story about a boy like you

And each selection that I make

Tells me how my heart will break

For falling in love with a boy like you.

 Boy Like You

Loretta Lynn

"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic." 

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Always Love

Nada Surf

Happy Birthday To A Very Special Group

It's SoGoPro Street Team's first birthday today, so here's a toast....


Southern Gothic Productions is one of the greatest things to be born of the internet. It is  the greatest family because there's no crabby nan you have to put up with on special occasions just lots of people with similar interests to your own that you share the special times with. Thank you SoGoPro Street Team for coming together in existence, they are all amazing people I am honoured to know.


http://sogoprostreet.blogspot.com/

Do Not Be Afraid Only Believe

Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a beast. Princess Jasmine chose a common theif. Ariel walked on land for love. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears because love means facing your BIGGEST fears. We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Music Mends My Misery

Despite the beginning of my favourite season I've kind of been going through a bit of a confusing time. Starting Sixth Form has been like starting in Year 7 all over again only this time I am more aware and less afraid. I have found it really hard somedays but what has kept me going, truly, is music. I think everyone should have one song, at least, that just fixes their world even for those three minutes. I discovered my song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R26mJv2zZhI

Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher through the fire
Time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive

But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Be strong believe

Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
Never fearing only hearing voices calling out
Let it all go the life that you know
Just to bring them down alive

And you still came back for me
You were strong and you've believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
[radio voice]
again today,
we take into our hearts and mind
Those who perished on this site one year ago
and also,
those who came to toil in the rubble
To bring order out of chaos,
to help us make sense of Our despair

Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know
How much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change right here right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
(background voice):Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving lives in the dark

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
(background voice):Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day

(radio voice): The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

I hope you can discover yours. 

Autumn Has Fallen

Ok so technically autumn 'fell' on Friday, but I have been really busy so I'm going to write about it now as it's my favourite month.

My favourite animal, even though it doesn't actually exist is a Phoenix. This is for many reasons, I have a thing for fire (I'm not an arsonist, that's illegal) and the way Fawkes heals Harry in the Chamber of Secrets makes me well up. The main reason I love the Phoenix is because to sustain their immortality then they must rise from the ashes of their former selves (after bursting into flame). 

Also, the Phoenix reminds me of Autumn. The way time sustains it's immortality is through years and for me much as a Phoenix bursts into flame before it can resurface as new, time does so during Autumn with the leaves falling from the trees and becoming yellow, orange and red.  Autumn is, in my opinion, the most beautiful season if you need persuading check out the SoGoPro Street Team Autumn inspired galleries, 

http://www.flickr.com/groups/sogopro/discuss/72157624892971744/ 

I also, get to celebrate going back to school as well, because you know, I'm a nerd that craves learning and structure. I have fun though, promise lol :D

Growing Up, We All Have To Do It, Sorry Kids

When growing up we often get scared and just want to know exactly what is going to happen, when and how. Thing is the future is the unknown, we're not supposed to know, I figured this out recently.
I'm 16 years old, I recently started 6th Form, Year 12. I am taking English Literature, History, German and Religious Studies also called, Philosophy, Religion and Science. Each of these are pretty heavy courses and each of these have teachers who love giving me lots and lots of work. The thing is despite the love for these subjects that I have and the enjoyment I get from them, I have zero motivation.
The reason for my lack of motivation is that I don't really feel like it matters at the moment. I have the feeling that in growing up this past summer, I have grown apart from some of the people closest to me, from myself. So, right now, I don't see why I should be aiming for success if when I achieve it I have no one to share it with and go 'look how far we've come.' I always thought I was independent and I am but it turns out the reason I comfortable with being alone is because I know ultimately people are always there. I'm not sure they are now. That's scary. That's life. That's my next challenge; screw letting people leave, pull them back because adulthood is going to be long and hard. It will also be rewarding, share that with others.

When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up
Nothin' ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna grow up
I don't ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they'd never want
The only thing to live for
Is today...
I'm gonna put a hole in my TV set
I don't wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
And I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't want my hair to fall out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wanna have to learn to count
I don't wanna have the biggest amount
I don't wanna grow up

Well when I see my parents fight
I don't wanna grow up
They all go out and drinking all night
And I don't wanna grow up
I'd rather stay here in my room
Nothin' out there but sad and gloom
I don't wanna live in a big old Tomb
On Grand Street

When I see the 5 o'clock news
I don't wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up
Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did I get here so soon
I don't wanna grow up

Tom Waits

Me, Myself and Insipration

I know the title of this blog post implies I'm going to tell you all about myself but instead I am going to take the Orange advert approach of 'I am who I am because of everyone' and tell you about them instead hence the 'Inspiration'.
My family to me, is a cross between the Addams Family and the Brady Bunch but I love most of them all the same. The successful ones make me want to be successful with words of encouragement and knowledge of what to do next. The less successful ones inspire me to persevere, to look into every option until I have met my dreams and exceeded my expectations.
My friends inspire me to be different because they are. They each know themselves as much as teenage girls can, they are as comfortable in themselves and they know and are comfortable with me. That makes me be myself so much more. Never be sorry that you different be sorry the others are the same.
Music inspires me. It is the soundtrack to my life and despite the corniness of it all, it really matters to me. Music is always there in a shape or form, people aren't. Music is individual to every person who hears and makes it, I think people are the same. Someone may see me as a friend or foe, a daughter or danger.
Another inspiration of mine is an independent film production company called SouthernGothicProductions. In 2007, my second favourite actress of all time Hilarie Burton, her best friend and writer Nicholas Gray and producer, perhaps best known for One Tree Hill, Kelly Tenney, in Wilmington, North Carolina, USA. They have a website called www.sogopro.com check. it. out. You can become a member and talk to other fans too, or not. I do though and they really encourage me to continue writing. It's a fantastic community!